By Alia Ibrahim
Political Reporter, The Daily Star
Beirut, Lebanon

Looking back at my experience during the fellowship—before it even ends—all I can say is, it was definitely worth the shot.

It was not all good, or easy, but it was challenging, enriching and instructive.

Needless to say that in terms of journalistic practices, my experience was rewarding. I am more confident in my writing and in my news judgment and am much more aware of both my strengths and my weaknesses.

Looking back at the mistakes I made I know now that the key to not doing them again is not only to do the best job I can, but also to defend my work and to stand up for it, because that is something no one will do for me, not here, and definitely not back in my country.

During my stay, I was really impressed by the infinite support and back-up that editors provide to their reporters, by the resources and time that journalists are given to write a story, and do it right, and by how meticulous and professional everybody is. There is a well-established system, and it works really well.

In terms of values, I have to say that my experience showed me that things are relative.

It would be hypocritical to pretend that I was impressed by “the freedom of the press” in the U.S. because I was not.

I was impressed by the extent of freedom that journalism in this country could potentially enjoy, but unfortunately is not.

The constraints are certainly different, it is clear that no journalist here runs the risk of being put in jail or being kicked out of his work for criticizing the government or uncovering corruption. But self-censorship and business considerations can be as obstructive as an oppressive regime.

I also believe that while many journalists and editors have been able to keep an open mind after September 11, many have not managed to, and in becoming over-protective of the government and its policies, they have lost some of their critical judgment.

I don’t want to generalize, but the American press prides itself on separating news from editorial material, and my impression is that this is not true all the time.

This brings me to why the fellowship should bring more people from my region and my country.

One of the biggest challenges that I had to face during the last five months was my being Lebanese.

Never in my life have I been more aware of my being an Arab, let alone a Muslim. I live in a country that was supposedly shattered because of a sectarian war, and I never felt I was on “the other side” the way I did when I was here.

I had my own share of prejudice. Before I came here I considered America one big entity presented by its government. The one reason why I was against a campaign calling for the boycott of U.S. products when I was still in Lebanon was that I felt that the impact would fall mostly not on American companies but on their local business partners.

Living here and being a journalist here showed me that there is more to America than the U.S. policies towards the Middle East or the war against terrorism.

There is a whole nation, with its own share—and a huge one for that matter—of problems and injustices.

What I am trying to say here and this is probably the most important thing I have learned during this fellowship is that things are not simple, and discerning right from wrong is not easy.

As journalists we can’t take sides, simply because there isn’t a right side and a wrong side. There are politics and interests, there is right and there is wrong and they are on different sides every time. There are tough decisions that need to be made every day, and it is up to us to make them.

To do that we have to know each other, we have to trust each other, and we have to understand each other’s cultures, not because it is nice and mind-broadening, but because otherwise we will all be heading towards a world in which none of us wishes for our children to live.

This is why I think the Alfred Friendly Press Fellowships is great: it gave us the chance to be in a U.S. newsroom, and also an opportunity to bring a bit of ourselves—a bit of who we are and where we come from—to those newsrooms. As trivial as our contribution may have been, it sure has contributed something.